Well I knew I'd have to write this to get it under the December 25th deadline, so here it is. In the crazy world of conservative politics, we have some people under the guise of conservatism and worse Christianity not supporting the War against Christmas. This cannot be allowed. Christmas is a foe that consistently irritates and berates the good people across this country. Forget Al-Qaeda, who hasn’t attacked us since September 11th, 2001, during that same time Christmas attacked America six times counting this year. And what's worse rumors persist that 2008 will also be hit. Now any true Christian can tell you, the only part Christmas has to do with Christ is that fact that Christ is the first six letters of the word. Cue scene of my childhood-

"Alright kids time to hear a Christmas story" my mother beckons us to come sit on the floor as she holds a book decorated with Christmas icons. Surrounded by perennials she starts "Along time ago, in a land far away a man made it his life mission to give toys to poor children and was later sainted by the Catholic Church and soon nicknamed St. Nick also known as Santa Claus. Then he died. The End." 4 children with mouth a gasped.

Ah, memories. So the holiday wasn't about giving gifts to each other but helping the less fortunate. Hmmmm but surely that most famous reindeer of all had to be true. Cue next scene-

"Mom, what about Rudolph?" I ask with eyes pleading for hope that some facet of Christmas was true. "He was made up in 1934 by Montgomery Ward."

As an environmental Republican, I'm extremely displeased with the slaughter of pine trees to decorate our houses for the season. Why do we spend millions of dollars for a plant that kinda sucks? I could get behind a baby maple tree maybe a cute oak but pine? But I guess it's worth it to actively express our faith in Christ...oh wait.

"Mom, I love decorating our tree with our homemade decoration. I bet Jesus smiles when he sees it." I say with a smile. "That's nice Little Chris, but the tree comes from paganism not Christianity." Mother replied.

So yes, I hate Santa and his little reindeer to. I hate Christmas trees. But what I hate most of all are those hideous manger scenes. Get them the hell off public government property. That's step one, then get rid of the ones on private property. Why the hostility?

""Mom, look at that beautiful manger!" I said riding in the backseat of our car. "Well Little Chris, actually the wise men didn't show up until two years after Jesus was born. And he was born in a cave not in a wooden stable. Oh and it happened in May not December. Oh and trust me honey, Mary would not be happy and calm after what she had just been through".

This may be the only election in which each and everyone of the major candidates for President are all called the underdog by the mainstream media in the race. Hillary Clinton is the underdog because of her high negative numbers and the fact that she's the first woman to really have a chance at winning. Barack Obama is the underdog because of his youth, attacks from the Clinton camp and his ethnicity (he is not African American, but mulatto). John Edwards is the underdog because of having to go up against the previous two underdogs as it has been said "What's a white guy gotta do to get ahead?"
                                              
 On the Republican side, Rudy Giuliani is the underdog because of his moderate views on social issues. Mitt Romney is the underdog because of his faith (and the fact that he is evil and voters are realizing it). John McCain is the underdog because of his fall from front runner (was he ever the front runner?) to running an energetic and tight budgeted campaign. Fred Thompson is the underdog because of how late he waited to get into the race (and the fact that he is boring, nice but boring). Mike Huckabee is the underdog because he talks funny, and came from little name recognition to taking on money bags Romney.  And of course for the rest of "never gonna happen" candidates from Biden to Tancredo and Gravel to Hunter they are lower than the title underdog. I'm so tired of everyone being told they won't be elected come next November, and the way the stories will flutter and play "and to think he/she came from there to the presidency, that's amazing". Not really.

                   

Now just to note, I have left the cashiering profession but did indeed stand behind a register for roughly one year at Wal-Mart. Let me assure you, we hate you as much as you hate us. And if one thing positive about the experience can be said, and in all honesty there probably is only one positive thing, it's the stories I was able to collect from my days behind the register. However those are for another day, our dear colleague Shining City wrote on her blog about buying the new cloth bags taking over our supermarkets. I also bought the bags, and they are the best investment I've made in a quite some time. While I'm a green Republican and a founding member of my old high school's Sierra Club, I'm very well aware that for every one thing I do to help the environment, I'm ruining it with another four actions to match. Call it an act of false contrition. Really though the comfort is of having bags that don't break, rip, take up space and just find new ways to annoy, is reason enough to pick them up the next time you shop.

http://shiningcity.townhall.com/g/04753c20-bdda-4f46-b7a3-f5a967fda3b6

While she confronted the aspects of being seen as a tree hugger, I'll be speaking on the behalf of the poor cashiers that must bag your items to begin with. First of all we know how to bag (Really the bread should be by itself, I had no idea, and to think I was going to put your milk on it?). On my first day bagging seemed fine and even a little, dare I say it, fun. Then on my second day, hell welcomed me with open arms. There are people out there who want, I am not kidding, their bags filled to the brim with their items and if the bag is not breaking, they aren't happy. God forbid, if you double bag. "What am I suppose to do with all these bags (I look at the cart, where there are four bags for forty items)" "Oh, I'm so sorry (inner thoughts...well you could put one of the extra bags over your head and save me the trouble. Then there were the special needs customers, the people who ask for only one item per bag and that it be double bagged. (Me: Put one candy bar in bag. Customer: You better double bag that; I don't want to risk it.) Then there were the customers who want their bags moderately heavy and willing to risk it and those who just want a few items tossed in. Then there were those who wanted certain items in separate bags, and yelled at you if you didn't and those who yelled at you if you did. And none of these examples was rare, they were daily. After saying goodbye to the register, I breathed easier in a store and now give comforting eyes and a kind word to cashiers confronting the war that is clocking in. You deserve to have your items bagged the way you want, you sick freaks called patrons. Fine, but cashiers aren't mind readers. Please tell them your preference but lose the attitude that your way is the way it’s supposed to be done. We wish there was a way it's suppose to be done.

There is an interesting race developing in the heart of Pennsylvania that has caught fire in the conservative blogging community. It involves a young veteran and family man, William Russell, going up against a man so vile that he became judge and jury for our men on the ground in Iraq... none other than John Murtha. Murtha, a man plagued with ethical violations from the time his taken office range from corrupt campaign donations to house ethic rules like a recent run-in with Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI) who he threaten wouldn't get an earmark for the rest of his time in office unless he withdrew any question of his. One often asks how does someone like Murtha stay in office? The answer is two fold one he made sure redistricting went in his favor and secondly he has brought more pork home to his district than Oscar Meyer could dream of. 
                            
 William Russell, a man who choose to enter the race after watching in disgust, Murtha's condemnation of our soldiers risking their lives and all too often losing them. Many a good people can disagree about the war, but their absolute support for our troops remains well known. Murtha has been using the flag for cover saying he supports our troops and then ending the sentence with "they're cold blooded killers". If there is any one worthy of the right to a trial by jury, it's those risking their lives for that right to exist. And for the majority of Americans, we waited for the truth to come out knowing the fog of war that exists. Others like Murtha felt a rushed 30 second sound bite of our soldier’s condemnation was a better choice.

Russell, isn't a perfect man he'll be the first to tell you that but he is a man who has served his country with absolute honor and who knows the cost of this war against terrorism as his wife is a survivor of the 9/11 attacks. And while I disagree with him on a few issues, particular stripping away the American birthright, he has put out policy that is nuanced, detailed and well-developed. For doing so, so early in this must watch race he deserves credit. In a congress so confused that Murtha is often called the "conscience of the house" we are in some serious need of a Jiminy Cricket. William Russell will do nicely.

For more information his campaign website: www.williamrussellforcongress.com/ 

Hello I'm Alex Trebek now let's play final Jeopardy a special version with three seperate answers. The catergory is "Did I Say That?" (music not included).

                        

1.) When asked about illegal immigrants, he supported comprehensive immigration reform in 2006 saying "You're going to have to, in some way, work out a deal where they can have some aspirations of citizenship...it's just not realistic that we're going to round up 12 million people and ship them all out of the country".

2.) In 2005, he spoke approvingly of proposals like Senator McCain's to put undocumented workers on a path to citizenship if they can pass criminal background checks saying it was "reasonable" and "very different than amnesty".  He said, "It is not practical or economic to deport 12 million illegal, who contribute in many cases to our economy and our society".

3.) He said in 2006, he said "we should give illegals a way to earn citizenship and recognize the economic force that lured them here to begin with" during his time in office he said "we must stand up today's isolationist movement to ensure that America's next century is as prosperous as the last."

Take your best guess; answers are in the comment section.

Note: I want to thank a reader who wrote me with some concerns, in hindsight "Jeopardy" implys danger meaning that I was unhappy with the above quotes. I just like the game show. Regardless, I omited quotes from Huckabee and McCain because McCain's positions are well known (and well supported...McCain 08!) and Huckabee has taken a much kinder approach to immigration. Thanks!